Keyword: sustaining
The initial act of creating a new habit is easy. We want to do whatever it takes to ensure that a habit draws results, so we set goals and intentions with the expectation that this new habit will bring said results. More money, better relationships, a promotion at work, some version of a better-looking, better-feeling body. Dropping undesirable habits can be just as easy, in theory. Letting go of certain patterns of behaviour or thinking can also ensure results, or better outcomes. But what about the process of making the changes after we make the decision to form or discard a habit? Why can healthy habits be so hard to sustain, and why are older habits challenging to shake off?
Creating habits, and letting them go. They go hand-in-hand, but when we want a particular outcome, we tend to think of only one side of the coin, or one way to solve a problem. I suggest we look at both, and try out a few tricks!
Pivot your environment
You’ve probably heard that your environment can influence your mood. Red walls make me angry, forests have me feel peaceful, messy and dirty spaces make me restless, and I get very excited at summer beach parties (especially when silly flotation devices are involved). Your environment can also influence your behaviour. If I keep a glass of water and a yoga mat next to my bed, then in the morning I drink water and do a bit of stretching as soon as I wake up. If I grow an herb garden, then I’ll benefit with more flavour and phytonutrients in my meals (unless I forget to water them – who knows? It’s like Russian roulette).
Make your environment conducive to the healthy habit changes that you want. This goes for your workspace or office as well as the various rooms in your home. If your goal is to become more organized and to more routinely clean your space, then (besides setting a schedule) ensure that you have the tools that you need to do this effectively. Examples could be shelving, a desk or other furniture with drawers, a designated Toys or Sports or Crafts box, a shoe rack, and the list goes on.
Do you have trouble sleeping, or sticking to a consistent sleep schedule? Ensuring effective sleep hygiene habits is crucial to getting a good night’s sleep (and feeling awesome the next day). Some things that I have placed in my own bedroom to encourage this habit are: a beeswax candle for low light just before sleeping, a diffuser with soothing essential oils like lavender and mugwort, my journal (don’t forget the pen- somehow I always lose the pen…), a few good books and a bed that I feel delighted to snuggle into. Consider how you can alter the space in your bedroom that would have you feel motivated to stick to a nice bedtime routine.
Items for success: letting go and inviting in
A number of my nutrition clients will express to me that they have difficulty with cravings and “cheating” on foods they’re trying to avoid, and this experience can be really overwhelming. That’s okay, there is no shame in this. In this case, one thing that I tell them is to go through their kitchen, pantry and fridge and discard (or give away) what they don’t need in relation to their goal. Yes, you can definitely throw away that decades-old pack of spices and the expired bottle of salad dressing in the fridge. Let’s just be real, if you have all of the ingredients to make cookies, then you will probably make cookies. And if you have boxes of Jell-O, you will definitely make Jell-O, if not for yourself then to prank you coworker by placing his desktop items into jelly goodness.
A friend of mine told me that he wanted to watch less TV and make better use of his time. His living room was arranged exactly to have everything face this massive screen. So he sold it, put up a bookshelf with some books and boardgames, and rearranged the room (though not a connaisseur of Feng Shui, I still helped). The point is that in changing habits we need to evaluate the items that we are using in our day to day that will influence our choices. Trying to be better organized? Make use of your smartphone, agenda and calendar. Evaluate where your time, energy and focus are going towards- what are you actually prioritizing? It may not be what you think you are intending…
Some goals will require that you invite new things in. Committing to the gym? You’ll want to have some running shoes and clothes you can sweat in – there’s no need for a high tech Apple watch and Lululemon tights. We as a species are very creative and capable of adapting and finding solutions. I want to clear the misconception that new habits will require expensive purchases to ensure sustained change. Likely not! If you are looking to change your diet but need to respect a budget, then you probably do not need to purchase overpriced weight loss programs, order cookbooks (there is an abundance of recipes online, obviously), let alone one that requires expensive equipment like a dehydrator, Vitamix blender, food processor, samurai sushi swords and ridiculously heavy cast iron pans that heavens forbid you wash with soap.
I got carried away… My point is that we can be resourceful. We are able to evaluate the things that won’t serve us in changing our habits and reaching our goals, and we can get creative in what will help us to achieve them.
Stick to it
There’s a catch to what I just said: our brain loves familiarity and predictability. It loves to perform the same tasks over and over again, whether that be your thoughts or your actions. If you think of your brain as a complex infrastructure of highways, where messages get sent via little cars to communicate to the rest of the body and form your thoughts, your brain loves to reuse the same highways again and again and again. It does not like to build new ones, unless there is a big bonus prize to be expected! I hope that this analogy helps to explain why we have such a tricky time kicking old habits and fully, consistently integrating new ones, and why the process can feel really uncomfortable and even frustrating.
To ensure success of a new habit (or getting rid of one), be intentional about it every day. Even if it’s not a daily habit. For example, I’m committed to going to the gym 3 days a week, but I set that intention every day, planning ahead of time for those three days. I pump myself up to go, visualizing the exercises and weights that I’ll do- sometimes I watch Youtube videos to learn new exercises. Overtime I celebrate the little success markers that I’ve gained so far: giving myself compliments, acknowledging what my body can do for me, buying a new dress, or enjoying how much more energy I have. You might have the impression that I love the gym- far from it!
We like to be rewarded, and we like to see results, but don’t always enjoy the process that comes beforehand. Part of the reason is that motivation does not happen before we achieve success, it happens after. The experience of feeling motivated happens once we succeed, however small. It’s a behavioural response that we can totally use to our advantage by setting small and frequent goals that will be accompanied by small and frequent rewards. This will encourage you to commit beyond the abstractedness of intentionality, in that you’ll experience tangible progress beyond just a vision.
Oh, and vision
Okay, can we all agree that having a vision is important, too? If you’ve been following the previous three steps, then you obviously already have your vision. Chances are, you’ve even strengthened your vision by performing the steps. Knowing your WHY will be the guiding light to getting the success and the results that you are working towards. It keeps you going as a gentle push forward when you feel that you’ve taken a couple of steps back, faltered or feel discouraged.
Make sure that WHY, that vision, is strong and that you feel connected to it because you want it. It’s not someone else’s vision for you, or their expectations. If you are trying to lose weight because someone else has asked you to, then your personal WHY might not be strong enough and you will not have sustained results in the long-run. If you intend to quit smoking just because your doctor told you to, the lack of self-interest in investing in yourself may hinder this long-term commitment of change in habit.
Some tricks to creating that authentic vision for your goal is to write about it. Write down everything that comes to mind: what do you want? what’s in the way of that? what is the end result, the achievement? what steps need to be taken between where you are now, and the end result? what thoughts or objections come to mind as you plan this? What resources can you draw from that will help you (think: soft and hard skills, people in your network, the internet, budgeting, etc)? Vision boards are great because they are crafty, fun to make and provide a visual that can motivate us to keep on with the completion of our goal. But don’t settle there, write out a plan with your goals, resources, bench marks and rewards. Set timelines, set a budget, set sources of accountability (like a coach, or a friend). Chat about your vision for integrating or letting go a particular habit and why you are working towards it with supportive people. And when you have a shitty day, you can start again tomorrow.
Let’s get to it!
So there you go! My two cents on changing habits, no matter how small. I welcome you to message me to share what your goals are that you are working on, or that you want to start, and the tricks that you plan to implement to succeed. I love hearing what people are working on and their success stories, and I love supporting people in their goals. Good fortune to you, dear friend!
